LotR, Whoops, was that yours?
by Nota Lone
Summary: Friends & go into LotR. Will any of the fellowship emerge emotionaly unscathed? I think not. I swear, no Mary Sues. Just OC's that r real people. NO MS's. Promise
1. Walking Around with My Eyes Closed

I wonder what slash means...wait, no, don't kill me! I'm not a nOOb! is targeted by nOOb guns Crud.

I, yet again, checked my email. Curses, I got nothing. Which isn't surprising because I just checked five minuets ago. I went on fan fiction. No reviews in sight. How dumb is my life? Very very dumb. Dumbity dim dum. Garr, that dumb fly ad bothers me. Stupid, incessant buzzing should be banned. I decided to go for a walk in the crappy little fako-woods thing behind my house. Eh, it's exercise. And maybe it will keep me from speaking broken English. And Spanish, I also speak broken Spanish.

Sigh, it's officially summer, but it's still chilly enough for a sweat-shirt. I walked around and saw no deer, which is very strange. I randomly started to sing 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams'. I tend to close my eyes while singing, which is a problem, usually. I'm actually pretty good at walking around with my eyes closed. I'd make a good blind person.

"I walk this lonely road, the only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes, but it's only me and I walk alone."

I continued to sing and walk blindly until I heard something. I opened my eyes.

"Mother of-" I stared. I was defiantly not in my sudo-woods anymore. Come to think of it, I should be on 6 Mile by now. And there was someone in front of me. Someone with pointy ears. I said some words not generally heard in polite society in every language I knew (which, sadly, included Elvish, my LotR obsessed friend taught me some curse words) and-mostly due to lack of breathing-fainted.


	2. You might want to sit down

Yes, it's short. SOORRY:) Longer chappie later!

I awoke in a room with Elvish furnishings and in a dress. Whee, it was swishy! Twin Elves came into the room. Crud, why did I only read the first book? I can't remember their names. Nor can I tell them apart. More crud. I can never tell twins apart.

"Afternoon. How are you feeling?" said brother number one.

"Like I've been attacked by squirrels and my brain impaled with knitting needles." I have a vivid imagination, ok? My shrink says it's a good thing. :)

Brother number two turned to brother number one. "Never been attacked by squirrels. Are they vicious where you come from?"

"Not really, my mind is just a scary place."

Brother number one snorted, though he managed to do it in a refined way. "You and the rest of 'em. Do you know a girl named Artemis?"

There is only one girl in the world crazy enough about ancient Greece to say her name. "NANET!" I jumped out of bed.

"Nanet?" questioned one of the brothers (can't remember who, not that it matters).

"Bizarre nickname. Where is she?"

Just then my friend Janet came into the room. "Um, Jess."

"Yeah?"

"Shelby, Hopper, and AJ are here too."

"What. The. Heck."

"Erm, yeah, you might want to sit-down for this one."

And this is the part of the fic where Nota Lone responds to her fantabulous reviewers:

**Phyllis Nodrey**: Nota-chan? Have I been anime-ized? Is this a good thing?What's a quarrel? What's wrong with unscared? AND what fool armed you with glue! (I'm so confused!)

**Calliope Foster**: AHH! Breath! Breath darn you! I've never lost a reviewer and I'm not about to do so now:)

**LiL Pippin Padfoot**: You don't like my name? I'm so hurt. So very hurt. :)

You all rock.

Mar-har! A cliffie! Muahahahahaha! There is nothing you can do but….review! Hahahaha! Ha! Ha-ha!


	3. The Meeting of Boredom

Disclaimer: I've only misplaced my mind, not lost it. You shouldn't sue me because: 1) if I eat enough chocolate, I'll be legally insane and 2) I only borrowed with out asking and no intention of returning, I didn't steal these characters.

Janet, Pennybright (a.k.a. Hopper, Phyllis Nodrey or Philly Cheese Steak, but if you enjoy life do NOT call her that to her face), Shelby, AJ and I were sitting in on the "ok, we have the ring, but what in Mordor do we do with it!" meeting. It's like the meeting that wouldn't ever end. Janet was paying rapt attention (or watching the elves), Pennybright was drawing something in her anime folder (now that I think of it, my ratty poetry notebook and mechanical pencil were on the side table in the Elven room), Shelby was singing what I believe was the first sorting hat song under her breath, and AJ was staring a hole in the back of Gimil's head. What was I doing? Fidgeting, humming "Ohio (Come back to Texas)" and tilting in my chair is what I was doing. Of course, the floors are very shiny and quite slippery. You can probably imagine what happened next.

THUNK! Elrond stopped speaking for a minute and every one turned around in their seats. I was still sitting in my chair, but the chair legs were no longer on the floor. My legs were where my head once was and sticking out in opposite directions. My dress was gathered at about my knees (hopefully). I didn't actually hit my head. Shock.

"Didn't you do this once in science?" asked Janet, rather blasé now that she knew I wasn't dead.

"Smooth," commented AJ.

Shelby laughed.

"You and your first impressions," muttered Pennybright as she rolled her eyes.

"And my survival is due mostly to my EVER so supportive friends."

I got a chuckle out of Gimili.

Gandalf stared at me (my feet) for a moment. "Who are you…"

"Jessica, the last of the Gehoseofats."

Legolas gave me a look. "I'm sorry, but who are the Gehoseofats?"

"Beats me. I just made it up." I got quite a few weird(er) looks. "My real life is very, very dull in comparison to all of yours. Even Sam's. At least he's the gardener of a rather influential person. I write poetry, fanfics, do homework, and baby-sit."

"Even the dullest of lives is important," said a random elf Gorifinkle or something.

"Yep, and maybe we exist only to stand as a warning to others." I brushed myself off.

Gandalf gave me a rather condescending look. "You do not seem to be happy."

"I just left my home, family, school, source of income, source of protein, and everything I know to land in a parallel universe with elves, dwarves, and wizards. And no internet and no chocolate." I sighed. "Never mind the ranting loony, no one does. I'm shutting-up now." I tried to lift my chair. "What the frig? Did you guys make this out of ironwood! Ooops, shutting-up now."

Gandalf turned to Boromir. "And you will be a part of the fellowship?"

"Yes, I will end the darkness."

"It is better to love the light than hate the darkness." I looked around for who said that. Eventually, I realized it was me. I don't know where this stuff comes from. I really don't.

Elrond smiled. "How true."

I made Elrond smile. What the heck? That was out of character. Ask the people on fanfiction! That is sooo out of character.

"And I trust you girls wish to go along?" asked Elrond.

Gandalf frowned. "No, they're too young."

"But they know something, and something tells me I should." (A/n that would be the author.)

"Hello, sitting right here!" A.J. was a bit disgruntled. Janet was excited. Pennybright?

"We can also keep them from killing each other along the way." Oh, good thinking.

"So, what do you know about the quest?"

I raised my hand, and immediately felt like a fool.

"Yes?"

I began to recite the poem from the beginning of the book.

"Three rings for the elven kings under the sky,

Seven for the dwarf lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for mortal men,

Doomed to die,

One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie,

One ring to rule them all,

One ring to find them,

One ring to take them,

And in the darkness bind them,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie."

Gandalf looked at me gravely. "I suggest we think about this."

We were nearly part of the fellowship. We decide to celebrate by skating along the hall outside our rooms in our socks. Singing. I think I heard someone(s) laugh.

Less of a cliffie. :) Hope you like it. PLEASE REVIEW! Oh, and too my reviewers:

Calliope Foster: Stitches. I hope they're straight. :P You like me, you really like me…. (on second though, that sounds creepy)

Autum92685039: The squirrels work for me. Oh, and I prefer the Bermuda Triangle. It's so mysterious.

Legolas's Girl 9: Yes, yes, I know I am.

Phyllis Nodrey-chan: Tehehehe. You write sad poems. They rock, but they're sad.

Naomii: This one's longer :)! Crazy enough for you? (You can be in my next fanfic)

Ow, I just wrote this non-stop. Ow, my poor brain.


	4. Elrond Says

Disclaimer: Have not, want, yet still not got. Oh, catchy.

_I have decided to write this in Elrond's POV to explain his strange behavior. Mine can't be explained._

I am sending the children. I call them children, because that's what they are. One revealed that not one was over fourteen. I know men live for a shorter time, but that is young by man's standards. You may wonder why I send these girls into perils that I can not bear to send my own older and wiser daughter. They have a purpose. I feel this, and I know Gandalf feels this too.

They will change something. Something was written and it was decided not meant to be. I fear for their innocence as well as their lives. None of them have seen hardship. None of them have seen death. They have bright, child's eyes still, still hanging on to innocence. They came up to me and asked when they could go home. I told them that I'd probably find a way by the end of their quest. They believed me wholeheartedly. I am not all-powerful. I fear I can not find their homes.

They leave soon. My warriors have taught them the basics of defense, my healers the basics of healing. I have instructed the others to keep them well out of battle. I can only hope they have enough innocence to deflect the ring's power.

_A short and very serious chappie. Didn't think I had it in me, did ja? (Not the short part, you knew THAT.) The next chappie will be longer, more informative, and filled with hijinks. That's such a great word._

_Press the button or green monkeys will steal your Skittles. _


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